In the Life of a Hooker

I have been having a hard time with my faith the last year or so. I have tried to go to church and feel as if I am invisible to everyone. I have witnessed so many things that people do that is pure hypocrisy within the church and I honestly would rather be away from that. Recently I have been having moments as I have been watching the Travis Alexander murder case and I think to myself how sad it is. I think, he was a member, went on a mission, endowed and someone did something terrible to him. And I think of how much harder it would be for his family if they didn't know that families can be together forever and that he is in a better place. Anyway, I have been thinking about it a lot and I feel like I want to try to go back to church, but I want to try baby steps. I don't want to be someones stupid pet project that the bishop assigns them to be friends with. I feel like people really don't truly care when its that case. I want to go at my own pace, I don't want people u...

This week has been a busy one. I have gotten into contact with my family on  my dads side, which has been a nice experience for me. I have learned a lot of things about my biological father's side of the family. They are what I portray as kind and humble people. I hadn't seen my grandfather in about 17 years and when I saw him I hardly recognized him. He didn't look like the same man I saw when I was 7. I was always told that he was not a very nice man and he was rough and not interested in talking with me. But after finding out more about him, I wanted to talk, but of course I was hesitant. I thought to myself, will he want to talk, will he remember me, will he care? When I visited him he seemed to care, I was very cautious to not say anything stupid and to try to get to know him. I went to lunch with him, his wife and my husband. We then went to the beach for a bit. I learned that my grandfather is a very interesting man and that my family is pretty screwed up. :P I hav...

So yesterday Jeff and I went out and ran into an old friend of ours, one that we aren't on the best of terms with. Anyway things are kind of awkward with this person and their beau to us that is. I have been having this feeling whenever I am around them that I am severely disliked. Turns out my feelings are correct, when I asked this person they replied with 'I don't like you, I don't hate, and I don't know you, we have only met twice.' Which is a total lie considering there is about 8 different times I can count off the top of my head that we have met. Anyway, my fight or flight reaction went into overdrive and my heart started racing (I don't like confrontation, but I figured it would be good to put this beast to rest)   So This person says that his beau's sister had said things that I have said against them which to my understanding was not anything at all that isn't the broad daylight truth. So after this confrontation I asked his beau's sist...

I decided I couldn't stay away from here, and thought I should tell about our cat Belle. As many of you know, I love cats, and Jeff loves dogs. I begged for a cat for MONTHS, his answer was always 'no'. But then I thought, you know a cat is technically better than a baby at this point. And I challenged him and begged again. I won to say the least. I then saw on Facebook, Mandy Shaw (now Ipson's) pictures of kittens and pretty much said there is our new kitten! I was completely ecstatic. We set up a time to go look at the kittens. Jeff kept saying we were only looking, but I knew we were going to get one. So I gave him my best sad face and he obliged. He picked her out because she was the most rambunctious one, the one most like me. About a week or so later I brought over a collar for her with a little bell on it so she could get use to it before we got her. The Shaw's said she would always climb out of the room over the fence and you could hear her from her little...

I have always had a problem with making friends. I have always been the shy type, the one who sits in a corner alone. Sometimes I can get out of my shell and be friendly and talk non-stop, but other times it doesn't work very well. Some people say that I have an abrasive personality, hard to deal with. Some people don't want to be friends with me and continue to talk about mean things about me. It hurts my feeling and I get more closed off to the world, and to the inhabitants. But I have learned to try and be better than that. To put it behind me and say 'If you don't want to be my friend because I am rough around the edges, that's your problem.'  Starting in life we are all like a lump of coal, and through all the pressures of life and through every beating of life we go through we get polished and refined. At the end we will all end up like a diamond, and beautiful diamond with a limitless worth. So if you can't stand how I am, who I am, don't g...

Well, I have caved in once more following the herd and creating a new blog. To share my thoughts, tell stories of my new life with my wonderful husband and our CRAZY  cat Belle. Jeffrey and I met several years ago at a church activity in the Eugene YSA. I saw him and thought 'He is something else, so handsome, articulate I need to know him!' So I just ended up talking to him a while later when I had the courage. At first we were kinda nice friends but with a hint of more than just friends. We would stay at the institute sometimes till 1 AM just chatting, sometimes playing chess. I waited and waited for him to make a move and make things more than just friends, and I made it obvious like a sore thumb that I wanted that. But alas he was shy and wasn't the type to just go for it (he really didn't even know if I really liked him, silly boy). Time passed and we drifted apart, I started dating someone  and he continued school. A few months later I went on a rafting trip an...